


The First and Last Haunted House

by wh33zy



Series: Quote Prompts [33]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Halloween, Haunted Houses, M/M, Quote Challenge, date gone wrong boyos, i want autumn back, they get arrested
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 11:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20007448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wh33zy/pseuds/wh33zy
Summary: "We wouldn't be sitting in the police station if you hadn't of-"





	The First and Last Haunted House

**Author's Note:**

> Y'ALL THOUGHT I STOPPED WRITING FOR THESE TWO LOLOLOLOLL

“So this was the ‘cute Halloween date’ we were supposed to be on, huh?” Sanji drawls, all displeased. 

There’s an offended gasp, “I think a better question would be  _ why the hell did you kick him!?”  _ Usopp growls, his hands forming into tight fists. “We wouldn’t be sitting here _ in the police station _ if  _ you  _ hadn’t of-” 

The older man has the nerve to scoff, “Don’t act all innocent! Weren’t you the one who screamed like a girl-” 

Usopp was going to yank his arm up to swat at his boyfriend, but the handcuff binding him to the chair wouldn’t allow the movement. It only angrily tapped against the wooden armrest. “I  _ did not!”  _

Sanji glared at him and his utter ridiculousness. “Did too! Then you threw a prop at that poor lady!” 

“That spider was fucking  _ styrofoam!” _

“Well, excuse me ‘cause I had no idea that styrofoam  _ bangs  _ on the ground!” 

“Fine! It’s plastic! Either way, she’s perfectly fine! The poor guy you kicked  _ has a concussion!”  _ The younger man roughly exclaims in exasperation. He then huffs, turning away from Sanji. He wants to cross his arms. “Besides, this whole thing wasn’t even  _ my  _ idea.” 

Pale hands go up as much as the handcuff would allow. “What’re you talking about!? Halloween is  _ your  _ thing! And it was a  _ minor  _ concussion!” 

“Ooh, Usopp~! Let’s go to a haunted house this year~! It’ll be so much fun~! I love it when you cling to me when you’re scared, it’s so cute~! I bought the tickets, let’s go~!” The voice for this is high and wiry, even though- 

“I don’t sound like that  _ at all!”  _

“You’d be surprised!” He huffs again before mumbling, “If only you could hear your  _ nonsense…”  _

Sanji leaned forward slightly to look around for any cops, only to see one with his back turned to them, talking to another a little ways from them. “You think I could get away with having a cigarette?” He whispers. “I could pull one out, I just need you to reach my lighter.”

Usopp pointed to the bulletin board by the door. “Do you not  _ see  _ the ‘no smoking’ sign!?” He hisses, not being able to  _ believe  _ that the blond wants to be in even more trouble.

A swirly eyebrow cocks up in realization. “I did not.” 

The two sit in silence for a while, taking in the sound of a phone ringing in the background, some mumbled conversations, paper being shuffled, and metal doors screeching open then slamming closed. There’s the clopping of heels from afar, the cops talking several feet from them shifting and making the keys on their belts jingle. Surprisingly, they weren’t terribly busy at eleven o’clock at night on Halloween. 

Usopp frowns when he feels his trapped hand being collected into another one. “I’m mad at you.” He grumbles, but doesn’t pull away (not that he could). 

“I know.” His boyfriend breathes, sounding solemn. 

Suddenly, thick lips quirk into an amused grin before giggling lets loose, which quickly graduated to raucous snickering and wheezing. Sanji almost thought he was in deeper shit than he was already, but the hand squeezing his so tightly made him think otherwise. Usopp is keeling over, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth after banging on the armrest. 

“We’re so  _ stupid!”  _ He gasps before starting up all over again. “We can’t even go to a  _ haunted house like a normal couple!”  _ He fades back into wheezing again. “Look at us! In a police station! We’ve met  _ none  _ of our own expectations!” 

“You’re not mad?” The blonde chuckles slightly. 

“Not anymore! This shit is  _ too funny!”  _ His laughing became more high pitched. “We were supposed to hug or whatever, but we just ended up  _ fighting the actors!”  _

This got Sanji to start laughing too, it quickly becoming as goofy and amused as his boyfriend’s. He squeezes his hand back. “I’ll be  _ really _ careful about scaring you-” 

“What!?” Is nearly screeched.  _ “You’re  _ the one with reflexes like a fucking  _ horse!”  _

The older man throws his head back at that, stomach  _ hurting  _ at this point. Usopp is now wiping away tears, trying to control his breathing so he could calm down. After a while, they both are able to say more than one sentence. It’s enough to get the two policemen to stop making confused glances at them. 

The door swings open, revealing the cop who arrested them marching over. She didn’t look terribly pleased which made the whole situation one-hundred percent  _ not funny anymore.  _

“I’m calling it right now,” Usopp whispers, heart pounding in his ears. “We are so  _ banned.”  _

“You men must be the luckiest.” The officer says as she pulls out a key and unlocks the handcuffs. “There are no charges being pressed against you. The actors said you apologized profusely and that you’re not the first ones to react that way.” She says with a shrug, even though her tone didn’t sound like she believed it herself. “However-” 

_ “Here it comes!”  _ The younger man’s thoughts yell. 

“The company funding these haunted houses has placed a ban on you both.” 

Usopp holds in the laughter wanting to break through and squeezing his boyfriend’s hand is helping a little. He feels a squeeze back but doesn’t  _ dare  _ to look at Sanji’s face because as soon as he would, all that goofy noise he was holding back would let loose. 

**Author's Note:**

> dunno about you guys, but i'm ready for halloween


End file.
